Tortoise Cat: How am I recycling by playing paper-shredder? Is recycling a form of play for the big ones?

Chameleon: Well, Tortoise Cat, the tissue paper you had found in the supply closet, the stuff the Big One told you was "all yours" to rip up as you pleased, was almost all torn to bitty bits. But the Big One wised up and began giving you some of the office papers that would have gone into the electric paper shredder contraption, thereby using your energy to help recycle those papers.

Tortoise Cat: Oh, that explains it, purrrfectly. I'm happy to help the Big One recycle!

Chameleon: Have FUN, Tortoise Cat. I hope the Big One captures a better picture of you and your paper recycling toy soon. And don't violate any "kitty labor laws"...heh, heh. 

Tortoise Cat: Chameleon, what can I do to keep my feet warm when I venture out into my backyard snow-cage?

Chameleon: You could allow the Big One to put mini-socks onto your feet.

Tortoise Cat: EYOW. Maybe I will simply go in and out more often. How do the critters that visit at night endure it, when it is much colder?

Chameleon: Critters are used to getting used to current conditions. Count your warmer blessings, Tortoise Cat!

Tortoise Cat: Also, I am happy I can go outside without a string tied to the Big One!

Chameleon: Who has visited us?

Tortoise Cat: Youngest Rabbit, fleeing Oldest Owl, and the Big Other Cat who lives one block westward.

Chameleon: How did you know about Owl's visit?

Tortoise Cat: It was in that p-mail I found over there.

Chameleon: OK, then, Tortoise Cat. Now, let us return to indoor cosiness and fire up some candles to reheat my old, cold dragon-blood. 

Tortoise Cat: Chameleon, my paws snowy and icy! The Big One let me outside without the string, because I won't step off the cement. But I slipped.

Chameleon: Dance it off, Tortoise Cat, then rush back inside and flop next to the radiator.

Tortoise Cat: Raccoons were here. Did you smell their clan's messages? The Big One noticed their prints. That's how I tumbled into the snow. I was reading what those Raccoons had to say.

Chameleon: I heard, saw and smelled one visiting Raccoon family late last night, as they foraged while temperatures were still above freezing. You were napping soundly all the while, Tortoise Cat.

Tortoise Cat: Those Raccoons must be napping again, now that the air has chilled.

Chameleon: Tortoise Cat, today our Raccoon neighbors are back in their secret-places, deeper asleep than a cat-nap.    

Tortoise Cat: Chameleon, look! The Big One swept the snow away from some of my territory, so I could stroll a ways.

Chameleon: What are you waiting for, Tortoise Cat?

Tortoise Cat: I await just the perfect moment...to...uh...wait a while longer.

Chameleon: Come on! Let us look for your shadow.

Tortoise Cat: OK. Everything is in order here, I sniff. Let's go back inside, now.

Chameleon: Inside? Already? You have not found your shadow yet, Tortoise Cat.

Tortoise Cat: EeeYOW means NOW! Finding shadows is the Groundhog's job.

Chameleon: I bet many neighborhood Groundhogs could not find their shadows today, Tortoise Cat. Maybe winter will be shorter in those cloudy territories.

Tortoise Cat: EEEYOW!

Tortoise Cat: What a terrible, unfair trick the Big One played this morning! I was carefully sniffing fascinating odors, out back...Then suddenly...! Well you knew about it all along, didn't you, Chameleon?

Chameleon: It was inevitable, you know.

Tortoise Cat: How terrible it is, to be fooled...then poked (twice!) and clipped.  But, Dr. Waters is OK...for a vet.

Chameleon: You could have seen it coming, Tortoise Cat. You are not that easily bamboozled. If you had been applying your sensitive nose indoors instead of sniffing for critter pee-mail on the side of the building, you would have known something was up. And Dr. Waters is much more than just OK, even as vets go.

Tortoise Cat: Yeah, but you are correct. The vet visit was inevitable. There is nowhere to hide from the Big One inside, and snow and ice all around outside, still.

Chameleon: Yet the ice and snow are melting, Tortoise Cat. Warm, sunny days are just around the corner.

Tortoise Cat: Oh? Tell me which of these neigbhorhood corners the warm days are lurking around, Chameleon! Why won't the Big One carry me over to a snow-free, sunny street? The Big One carried me down the block to the vet's van and back, after all.

Chameleon: Tortoise Cat, go take a nap!

Tortoise Cat:  Oh NO! I've begun seeing -- and dreaming of -- the trap I'm supposed to enter willingly!

Chameleon:  Now, now, Tortoise Cat, you know that as soon as we arrive at the Folks' House, you'll begin to enjoy roaming and sniffing around their huge territory, drawing attention and affection from many Big Ones all at once, and watching crowds of squirrels, chipmunks, rabbits and birds from the humongous picture window. Don't you remember the fun you had on our winter adventure last year!

Tortoise Cat:  I don't remember or know anything, except...NOW -- YOW! -- I fear the sight of that...whatchacallit!?

Chameleon:  It's called a cat- or pet- carrier, or kennel. It is, in fact, a benign kind of cage -- a soft, plush and protective cage. And, in truth, the Big One is being most kind, carrying you along in spite of your extreme fuss and noise, instead of leaving you alone for more than a day. Besides, the Big One's clan all look forward to your yearly visit. Just nap at mid-day as usual...and when you wake up, we'll be there.

Tortoise Cat:  But my territory will be unwatched while we're away. I must NOT leave those boundaries unpatrolled!

Chameleon:  No, it's OK, Tortoise Cat! A colleague of the Big One's will be living here, visiting family, while we adventure...and...uh...will be performing security checks on your property frequently. The Big One is very happy -- more like ecstatic -- about these arrangements, because everything is working out simply and synchronicitously.

Tortoise Cat:  Simply and...WHAT?!

Chameleon:  And WELL, Tortoise Cat. All is well and all will be well. 

Tortoise Cat:  Well, maybe the Big One won't be able to find me when it's time to go.

Chameleon:  RELAX, Tortoise Cat. Trust me. Heh, heh. You'll never see it coming.

Tortoise Cat:  Ok. I'm ready for a nap. Yes, ho-hum, a dream is pouncing!

Tortoise Cat:  Oh, look Chameleon! It's a new and unexpected cave, just my size...suddenly here...INSIDE. Am I dreaming?

Chameleon:  WOW, Tortoise Cat...How wonderful! It looks like a comfortable place to nap and dream. Heh, heh, heh.

Tortoise Cat:  While the Big One pulled up weeds I prowled the garden for bugs.

Chameleon:  I am content to watch you hunt and revel in this warmer than usual November, Tortoise Cat. 

Tortoise Cat:  This was one of the the best garden visits ever!  The Big One added a longer string, so I didn't have to tug and cry to do as I pleased.

Chameleon:  The Big One was pulling up more Onion grass and Wild Violets than what I would call weeds.

Tortoise Cat:  I still do not understand the concept - weeds.  Often what the Big One pulls out as "weeds" are the tastiest or smelliest plants.

Chameleon:  A "weed" is any plant that one or more Big Ones do not want in a garden, lawn or field, places that Big Ones cultivate favorite plants on purpose, usually for the sake of beauty and often for eating and sometimes for other uses.

Tortoise Cat:  What other uses?

Chameleon:  Big Ones make strings out of certain plant fibers. 

Tortoise Cat:  OK, then.  I'm ready for another nap.

Tortoise Cat: I am teaching the Big One how to hunt and play with prey while we stroll!

Chameleon: What progress have you made towards that end, Tortoise Cat?  How is that project going, so far?

Tortoise Cat:  Not  much.  Not well at all--yet.

Chameleon:  I am not suprised.

Tortoise Cat:  Sometimes I wonder if the Big One is blind, deaf and...uh...I don't know how to say it...!

Chameleon:  Anosmic...unable to snif out prey from the breezes?

Tortoise Cat:  Yes, that's it.  And the Big One won't wait in any one place long enough.

Chameleon:  Ah...Yes.  You'll have to work around that.    

Tortoise Cat:  Why did the Big One spoil my fun with Mousy last night?

Chameleon:  Mousy was exhausted...You were playing WAY too rough, WAY past long enough!  You might have killed your favorite little playmate!

Tortoise Cat:  I can't help that...I AM a CAT!

Chameleon:  Yes...And Mousy is NOT a toy, Tortoise Cat.  Luckily you woke the Big One with your antics.  The Big One thought Mousy was dead aleady but I whispered "Mousy is only pretend dead - so far - and exhausted...!"

Mousy:  If the Big One hadn't picked me up just then and lifted me back outside to my hideout I might have died, FOR REAL, Tortoise Cat!

Tortoise Cat:  So are we still friends, Mousy?

Chameleon:  Oh my goodness!!!        

Tortoise Cat:  I helped the Big One put nuts and seeds outside in the snow for Sparrow, Squirrel, and Bunny!

Chameleon:  Uh...OK.  Sure you did.  How wonderful!

Tortoise Cat:  But why do our critter buddies all scatter when I come out to play? 

Chameleon:  Play?  I thought you said you were helping the Big One!

Tortoise Cat:  Helping is play isn't it?

Chameleon:  What a beautiful outlook you have!  Helping is play.  I like that.

Tortoise Cat:  But why do Sparrow, Squirrel, and Rabbit dash and fly away when I show up?

Chameleon:  Well...I'll need to ponder that a while.  When I come up with a good answer I'll tell you.

Tortoise Cat:  Oh.  OK.  Oh look!  Everyone is back already, chowing down!  If I hide here at the door I can watch.

Chameleon:  Well from the way you are swishing your tail, it looks as if you'd be chasing them if you were out there!

Tortoise Cat:  Never!  Not I...These paws don't touch snow or ice!  Unless...

Tortoise Cat: I had to ride in one of those dangerous, menacing Big One contraptions FOREVER to get...HERE...wherever this is!  WOW-meeOW! WHERE ARE WE?  Chameleon!  Oh ChaMeeeOW-leon...Are you here?  Where IS here?  Chameleon...!

Chameleon:  Tortoise Cat I hear you calling, "Chameleon...!?  Oh ChaMeeeOW-leon...!"  You have such a sweet little mee-yowl.  I'm just not in the mood for blogging, except maybe a little linkblogging.

Tortoise Cat:  But we are falling further and further behind in the blogging.  It is embarrassing!

Chameleon:  AW common!  You're a CAT.  Cats don't get embarrassed.  We'll blog later, OK?

Tortoise Cat:  Might as well take another nap, then.  It's way too snowy outside to stroll the neighborhood territory with the Big One.   

The Tortoise Cat:  Why did the Big One bring me so many Goodies?

Chameleon:  It wasn't so very many.  But it was because of the Vet visiting for your check-up and shots.

The Tortoise Cat:  You mean the day the Big One tricked me?  I thought we were going for a stroll and found a VET in a BIG car outside the door.

Chameleon:  The Big One bought you those Goodies for being so good with the Vet.  And because the Vet said you are a mutant.

The Tortoise Cat:  Mew-tant?

Chameleon:  Yeah...sure.  Anyway the Big One just found out that you were born without teeth except for those perfectly sharp front fangs of yours - due to a random mutation.  And the Big One felt a bit foolish for never having noticed this weirdness before...and maybe a little sorry for you too, you strange mutant Critter.  It is amazing how you chew so well without teeth!

The Tortoise Cat:  Because of a random Mew-tation I am a MEW-tant!  And the Big One brought me many Goodies. 

Chameleon:  Only a few Goodies:  A high-tech comb, an edible catnip ball, a hanging scratch post, and a new kind of high-fiber dry munchies.  Oh - I guess you are right.  This adds up to one more than a few and for you that is called MANY.  Ha ha.

The Tortoise Cat:  Goodies are good.  But I like the extra attention the best! 

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  The Big One did not get my inner-voice right at all.  What a lame video!

Chameleon:  As the Big One told you, this is only a test video.  And...Ahem.  Maybe you could be of just a little more assistance with this project during the next tests. 

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  What is a test?

Chameleon:  Hmmm...I would say that testing  - for most Big Ones - is like playing around...but usually somewhat less fun.

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  Being outside with the Big One today wasn't as much fun as usual.  But it was OK.  I hope we stop testing soon and get back to playing!

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  Chameleon, am I cute or what?

Chameleon:  Cooter you are Cuteness Itself!

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  Really?  The Big One often resists my cuteness....

Chameleon:  But just barely.  Don't worry.

Chameleon: Cooter, the Big One asked me to have a little informal talk with you about a delicate matter...so listen up, ok?

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  Uh Oh.  Now what?

Chameleon:  Well...You know, when you snuggle up on the Big One's chest every night...?

Cooter:  Oh...It's just for a little while!  That's non-negotiable, by the way.

Chameleon:  No, no, that's wonderful...It's just that...well...the Big One was wondering if it would be too much to ask...

Cooter:  So why doesn't the Big One just ask?

Chameleon:  Well, the Big One has been attempting to communicate this to you for quite a while now...is what I understand, so...

Cooter:  Ok, ok...Just tell me!

Chameleon:  Well here it is then.  Could you graciously keep your...uh...rear end out of the Big One's face, from now on, during the bedtime snuggles...by any chance?

Cooter:  Aw...common.  Cat companions pile up that way naturally.  Everyone knows that!  The Big One didn't seem to mind 'tail to nose' arrangements back when I was tiny...you know...back when we all lived in that big, cushy, dark, box...and snuggled lots and lots.  

Chameleon:  But Cooter, back then...that first Big One was...a cat!

Cooter:  You're kidding, right?!

Chameleon:  Well I told the Big One I would talk to you about this.  So I did.  So now just go play in the bamboo bush.

Cooter:  All the Big One had to do is ask plainly...but OK...maybe.    

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  Why did you change the name of our adventures here?

Chameleon:  Raccoon Daddy greeted me after waking up again yesterday morning and remarked "That Cooter The Tortoise Cat is still untamed, even though she walks on a string with the Big One!"  And I replied, "Cooter expresses the veritable Untamed Gnosis of LIFE itself, just as well as you do Companion Alley Raccoon!"  And I meant it too!

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  OK.  But WHAT did you mean by it?

Chameleon:  Oh...well...ahem.  It's deep...deeper than the deepest hole and higher than the highest tree top.  The exact meaning is almost impossible to express in ordinary conversation.

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  OWW!

Chameleon:  Did you mean WOW!?

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  The meaning of OWW! cannot be expressed in ordinary conversation either. 

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  I found the sidewalks dry this afternoon and I could feel sunshine!  But all the plants are still asleep, covered with snow.

Chameleon:  Why not play in the snow, Cooter?

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  Big Ones can walk on the snow because they wear extra 'skins' or 'furrs' on their feet.

Chameleon:  I'm sure the Big One would be happy to provide you with cat-shoes. 

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  Oh no.

Chameleon:  Why?  The Raccoons tread through melting snow, and many of the Doggies frolick in it...and the Squirrels dig in it...And many nights you watch the neighborhood Gray Cat pouncing through snow drifts...And all of them go bare pawed all winter!

Cooter The Tortoise Cat:  I have never met a bear so I know nothing about going bear-pawed! 

Chameleon:  Cooter those are some wild, beautiful, green leafy, rainbowy blossoming little Spring-ing dreams you are circulating!

Cooter:  SHHHHHHH.  Let me dream on...Don't wake me now!

Chameleon:  OK.  Dream on Cooter.  But we're about to have a visitor and I know you will wake up for customary greetings then.

Cooter:  SHHHHHH I tell you!  Whenever something wake-worthy happens it happens, ok?

Chameleon:  OK, Little Cooter, dream on for just a few more moments.

Cooter:  I can fly with flocks of wide-winged gleaming birds and scramble the tallest sparkly trees and wildest budding gardens with dozens of the boldest flee-bitten squirrels in any given few more dreaming moments.  Now SHHHHH please.

Chameleon:  OK, OK, OK.